Couple’s Therapy

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I love Casey Neistat, who doesn’t, right? He has a podcast with his wife Candice called Couple’s Therapy, I am hooked on the podcasts. Although Candice is often being criticized as not being “friendly” on camera, that she’s a spoiled brat with a rich father and a rich husband. (Casey’s net worth is at $12 million as of 2019) Personally, I find her “IDGAF” attitude super attractive and alluring.

Her personality really shines through in their podcasts. It surprises me how honest and open they are with each other on the podcast. I want to talk about this particular episode because it highlights the constant battle between men and women, and I can definitely relate to Candice in this episode.

Candice wanted to start a YouTube channel for her jewellery brand, Billy. Since Casey is the youtube star, it was only natural for Candice to request her husband to create the channel for her, makes sense, right?

Casey has a different plan thou, he thinks she should go through the whole process of learning from scratch, and the videos will be more authentic if she makes the vlogs herself. No one understands her better than herself, and the skill she learnt will become part of her capital.

From Casey’s perspective, it’s definitely a more pragmatic and rational approach. But he forgot women are anything but rational. Candice was put off by her husband unwillingness to help, she was mad.

I can definitely relate to Candice because I thought about a million similar episodes between my husband and myself. I am anything but a weak woman that wants to rely on her husband to do things for her. I don’t need to, but it’s nice to be taken care of occasionally, and men don’t understand that.We definitely struggle a lot in this area, my husband once expressed that he likes me because of how independent I am. He is put off by “needy” women, he’d say. What he fail to realize is that wanting him to do certain things for me doesn’t take my identity away, I am still an independent woman, strip away our biological differences, as regular human beings, it feels nice to do nice things for each other once in a while.

These days society demands women to fit into a certain frame : we must be capable of doing everything for ourselves. As a woman, we may find ourselves constantly battling our natural instinct to be nurtured (like a delicate daisy 😂) , or to take charge and “wear the pants” in the family. I think we can find a balance and be both instead of choosing one or the other. If only our male counterparts can understand that.

Candice later proposed that Casey find someone for her, which is a reasonable request. But Casey insisted she ought to learn it herself 😂 A perfect solution would be, Casey hire someone to teach Candice film making and editing, problem solved !

There’s a ghost in our house

This post is dedicated to my lovely partner, Andrew

I have long suspected there’s a ghost in our house. As I do most of the cleaning and tidying up, I noticed things are still always being misplaced.

So one day…I told him

“I suspect there’s a ghost in our house…”

He looked at me shockingly, ghost is not a subject to be joked about with him, he is rather scared of ghosts…I can never convince him to watch a ghost movie.

“Why did you say that?”

“Well you know how I always put the comb back to where it’s supposed to be…but everyday when I wake up, it’s always either on the floor, or the couch, or the dining table…or the coffee table, if it isn’t ghost, I don’t know what is it.”

He laughed sheepishly.

He doesn’t do it with just things. He’d leave cupboard and wardrobe doors open, clothes and socks on the floor..etc.

Authoritatively, I always tell them to put things away.

“Anya, what do you put on a dining table?” I asked

“Hmm…food?”

“Correct…now why are there toys on our dining table?” I’d sneered at my husband.

The key thing to being organized is quite simple really, you simply need to put things back where they are, a trait my husband never learns. 15 years is a long long time…no matter how many times I’ve told him, he remains unchanged.

I remember once, I picked up a book at the airport by Dalai Lama. He mentions how if certain things bothers us, we need to change it ourselves. Simply put, if things are being misplaced and it bothers me, not him, I should be the one to put things back.

Now Dalai Lama, I respect you and I agree with you on many things…not this one.

Men are such a peculiar creature that I’ll never be able to figure out. I am certain the makeup of their brain is entirely different compared to women’s brain.

I did some diggings…purely for entertainment. This point resonate with me alot, I suspect he simply doesn’t hear me

The male ear is weaker than the female counterpart. That is why women can hear subtle intonations and men – not always. Also, in terms of tactile perception, men lose.

 

 

Physical degeneration and mental health : I’m gonna kill myself

Yesterday, there was a little commotion going on at our neighbour’s.

Apparently he locked himself outside of his house, and he didn’t have a phone with him. So he went over to my mother in law’s house (which is right next to our house) to have her call his wife, I don’t want to go into details, in the end everything was resolved because apparently, his son was inside the house.

He was frantic, and angry, and he couldn’t control himself. He was cursing and saying things like :”How could this had happened, I’m gonna kill myself !” My mother in law was shocked upon hearing that, according to my mother in law, he is mentally unstable, so she was concerned he was really going to kill himself.

I am certainly aware that many seniors are suffering from some form of mental illness, and it certainly makes me think alot about how our physical degeneration, is interlinked with our mental health. It’s just hard to feel good if you are suffering physically.

Yesterday, I had a toothache. I don’t want to know what is it, and I’ll never find out, since it has subsided today. I had a wisdom tooth pulled out very recently, and I’ve sworn to never go back to the dentist again…even if the dentist is as hot as Chris Hemsworth. I even read Dr.Weston Price’s book (Nutrition and Physical Degeneration) to get a better understanding on how to improve dental health. The pain started early morning, I was still feeling fine when I was having my breakfast, by mid noon, it has escalated and quite literally, I felt like killing myself. My mood has gone sour and I started behaving like a little kid towards my husband. I forced food down, chewing meat with the other side of my mouth (a true meathead is ingesting protein every couple of hours no matter the circumstances) by evening, it was so painful that I had trouble concentrating, by this time, I started treating my husband like a punching bag (figuratively speaking) . I certainly had alot of internal dialogues with myself, still, I couldn’t control my behaviour because of my physical pain.

I gave in and had 2 panadols last night, the pain subsided.

This little incident reminds me how we need to first take care of our physical health, and once we have establish a good foundation, then, we can only improve our mental well being. Both cannot be separated.

I feel pretty bad for lashing out on him, but when I woke him up for panadols last night, the look of genuine concern on his face really touched me. My health has improved so tremendously that, he no longer has to take care of me like he did, and it was nice to be reminded that he cares for me deeply. Perhaps this isn’t such a bad episode after all.

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