Distracted

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Image by Lenus.me

Being constantly pulled into multiple directions seems like all we do these days, stimuli often fill in the gaps : whether it’s eating with our screens, listening to podcasts/music when we drive, juggling between a million browsers as we work on our computers…I can go on and on.

On our flight back to Kuching, there was a solo female traveler seated next to us, with a thick book sitting on her lap. Once the seatbelt sign is off, she put the book down, took out a sandwich from her bag, ate her sandwich, cleaned up, and continue reading again. I jokingly mentioned to my husband how the simple ritual of eating differs between this western girl vs us, the Asians, if you go into restaurants and cafes, you will notice alot of Asians tends to eat with the screens infront of them. Either that, or they’d take a million photos of the food untill they become cold and soggy.

Couple of months ago, I forced myself to eat without distraction. Force is a strong word, but that’s how difficult it felt to me. I held on to it for a long time. However, the deeper I got into my prep, the harder it was for me to stick to the ritual, even now, I am still taken aback by how much dieting has impacted my ability to concentrate and stick to my habits, especially towards the last few weeks of my prep. I do thrive on routines and months of habits tracking has built a pretty solid foundation for me, still, I have succumbed to the temptations a few times.

I think setting rules and boundaries for ourselves is so important, even thou these habits may seems frivolous to most, but they can train your discipline and they will add up over time. There are some non-negotiable rules I set for myself daily, such as no screens before 7am (since I wake up at around 5am daily), daily meditation is a must, and I must include a daily 30 minutes, stimuli-free walk outdoor (no podcasts and no music) daily. These small accomplishments serves as daily affirmations for me.

“A lack of self awareness is poison, reflection and review is the antidote.”

“By constant self discipline and self control, you can develop greatness of character.”

“The most powerful control we can ever attain, is to be in control of ourselves.”

Prep journal : Training without the phone

No music, no videos, no selfiesĀ 

I have started enjoy going to the gym without the phone more and more these days

I used to be the gym chick (I feel good calling myself a chick) who has her headphones onĀ  all the time, I train with very loud and angry music, often contains very colourful language, which explains why I curse alot. But I am reformed now, I try to restraint myself these days.

David Goggins says training with music is cheating. I didn’t understand it at first, but once I took my headphones off, I immediately understand why. I was able to focus better, I was able to listen to my own cues, I was able to motivate myself instead of relying on music. The quality of my session improved tremendously.

There was also the selfies and the videos…obviously I had a rather severe attention deficit symptom, with all the half naked selfies and workout videos posted to my instagram (which I’ve just deleted) The only way I could describe it, is that I felt like a cocaine addict, refraining from taking gym selfies was honestly a challenge for me, I do admit by saying that I am aware that I live a very good life. I am honestly ashamed of my pathetic addiction, and it’s not completely eradicated yet, but I am definitely on the right track.

Each time I whip out my phone and about to take another selfie, I’d think to myself :”Really, Simmy, do you need another selfie? ” No more reasons for selfies since instagram is gone now, problem solved. To completely minimize the distraction, I leave my phone at home.

There are some videos here and there, especially with the main lifts just for the sake of form checks. I used to joke that I didn’t really care about my form, all I cared about was how good I look in the videos. I wasn’t really joking. Was there natty lighting ? Did the angle make my butt look bigger? If I didn’t look good in the video, I wouldn’t post it no matter how good my form looks.

One step at a time, one day at a time

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Prep Journal : Prep before the prep

Summary of the past 2-3 weeks of slowly easing into a deficit again, without tracking food.

I was hesitant to start prep without tracking food, if there is one mistake I’ve learnt from my previous prep, is that I didn’t give myself enough time and I was probably a little too relaxed in the beginning. Given that it was my first prep, I was clueless. I started my prep at 72kg, and I stepped on stage at 58kg, judging by how I looked, I easily had extra 5kg on me that needed to go. Nonetheless, I learnt alot about myself and it was still a great experience for me.

I soon learnt if I stick to the same eating pattern, rotating between the same meals, at this point, tracking is unnecessary. I do use weight and measurement as a guidance at this point, if weight loss stall, I will not waste time and start tracking again. The crazy thing is, I find that without tracking actively, I have to be even more aware of my intake. If I make more progress in the beginning, then I don’t have to play catch up in later stages of my prep.

Below is an entry I wrote in my notebook the other day :

“Pay attention to the appropriate level of hunger and desire for food, instead of giving into intuition completely.”

Contest prep fatloss is tricky, without actively tracking food, it doesn’t mean I am eating intuitively. I find that intuitive eating is mostly for people who wants to maintain weight, or maybe lose a little, without having a rigid deadline to meet. Quite frankly, if I were to give into my intuition completely, I wouldn’t be able put myself in a deficit state. Our body just doesn’t like it if we knock it out of homeostasis : hunger and cravings eventually occurs. Dieting will always feel unnatural, no matter how efficient you try to be.

I will keep this update short and sweet, ending this post with some data update and some food photos, just to make this less boring

Start of prep

April 1st, 2019 : AVG BW 63.2kg

April 15th, 2019 : AVG BW 62.2kg

Starting point 2019 :

 

This was me at the start of my prep last year…I know..I had guts definitely