Peanut butter kaya jelly

It was one of those mornings again : the dreaded holiday. I have the best intention not to rush through the morning, but with Anya around, things just don’t go as planned.

She was whining on the sofa, she said she was hungry.

“Eat the Horse Ear bread I bought you, you said you wanted it.”

“No…I want to bring that to Kid’s Cove.”

“Just eat half of it, and save half for Kid’s Cove.”

“No….” she proceeded to moan and cry on the sofa, with TV noise blaring in the background.

I was annoyed, as I was rushing up and down the stairs, the “light” came on. It’s one of those many instances where another being is talking to me internally, I call them “the light”.

“Pay attention to how you are behaving, you’re not a 6 year old, she is.”

I paid attention to my breathing then.

Grabbed her shirts, and I went to her, still whining on the sofa.

I drew in another breath, and I said. “Ok, so tell me exactly what you want.”

“Grandma’s bread with peanut butter and kaya.”

“Ok, now I know what you want.”

I prepared the sandwich for her.

“You see ? You gotta verbalise what you want. I don’t know what you want if all you do is scream and yell at me. We’re not animals, we don’t talk to each other like that.”

(It’s crazy how it always feels like I am talking to myself, whenever I talk to her. )

Eating her sandwich, she replied calmly, “Ok.” as if nothing has happened.

It’s so hard to believe, just minutes ago, she was screaming bloody murder at me. It’s like the switch is now turned off.

Her half eaten sandwich, wrapped in a tissue paper and placed on our car dashboard.

 

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Simmy Tan

I write my random musings here on this blog I work at www.oncloud9.my

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